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The Strange Things Boutique




DVD. Your Choice

Your Choice Viewers' Wives 60Good grief – Volume 60 of this venerable series? Having started watching these when the series was still in single figures, it’s a depressing reminder of my mortality. But it also shows that there is still a market for amateur porn on DVD, even in a world of free internet clips. Why, I don’t know, but perhaps the success of this series is because it does offer a wide variety of genuinely amateur footage – and even on Tube sites, much of the supposed home made footage is clearly the work of semi-pros at least.

Of course, the amateur nature and the variety of performers and photographers ensures that these collections are mixed bags, to say the least. Certainly, Your Choice don’t operate a policy based on age, body size or attractiveness, which is admirable, is sometimes challenging for the viewer, and this edition is a good example of the series mix of the good, the bad and the ugly of Britain.

As is tradition, this edition opens up with a solos scene. Lee is a woman of a certain age who strips out of red underwear and plays with herself using a purple vibe. It’s efficiently shot, but personally I can’t say she did much for me.

Tracey takes a stroll in the country, loses her clothes and plays with her surprisingly hairy pussy. It’s perhaps less explicit than the usual YCVW clip (though it does have a couple of brief pissing scenes), and the natural setting and natural bush give it quite an old-fashioned feel. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. An indoor scene where she masturbates with a beer bottle is probably labouring the point somewhat – although the brief intrusion by a pet cat is an amusing blunder.

It’s girl-girl action next with Emma and Claire, which has one woman dressed in a dodgy maid’s outfit and the other in worryingly authentic school uniform, as they amuse each other with assorted improvised dildos (a beer bottle again!) and a stick of celery. It’s a bit choppy and the focus keeps going, but both ladies seem enthusiastic.

Your Choice Viewers Wives 60Beth and the more mature Kim are, shall we say, larger ladies, and if you are a big tit man, they might be your ideal women. They didn’t do much for me, but then I don’t really get turned on by veins. Attempting to give their scene some element of plot, their encounter ends with and interruption, and then leads to another scene with Beth and Darren – the first boy-girl scene of the collection. Darren is a chubby as his partner, but otherwise less impressively endowed, and the pair engage in an enthusiastic, if unremarkable sex scene that is regularly illuminated by camera flashes.

Kelly and Declan are next. Kelly is a fairly cute, has a great body and is undoubtedly enthusiastic, while Declan seems pretty bland but eager. They are probably chav kids, but there’s not question that the deliver the goods (twice!) is a scene that is probably the most effective slice of porn in the collection.

Megan is another big girl, though a remarkably cute one, and appears being interviewed by a Ben Dover wannabe before getting to work on him. As he’s a pot-bellied, badly tattooed (even on his cock) and slovenly dressed character – we never see his face – who’s idea of class is to remove a condom and have the girl pour the contents over her face, I hope he paid Megan well.

Jenny and Woody appear in a stilted, staged scene and are probably the most unattractive couple on the collection. Watching them is quite off-putting, in fact, so I quickly skipped ahead to Daisy, a pretty blonde who is talked through her scene by two guys and is doing this without the knowledge of her husband. As they all seem to be American, I guess there’s little chance of him picking up the DVD. It’s an effective, if sometimes awkward scene.

Your Choice Viewers' Wives 60Chantelle appears in a vaguely story-led piece, playing the window cleaner who flashes her fake tits at some bald oaf with a moronic accent. Chantelle certainly looks like a (British) porn star, has some dodgy tats, wears awful jewellery and performs with rampant enthusiasm when not giggling annoyingly. It feels like the sort of porn you’d expect Big Brother contestants (or fans) to make. It’s shot reasonably well and has a distinct ‘pro’ feeling to it.

It’s back to old age porn next, with Tony, Irena and Mark. The intro from the cameraman suggests that we’ve seen Tony and Irena before, though whether they are back by popular demand or not is open to question. It feels like an authentic representation of British swingers – unattractive people having unattractive and noisy sex, egged on by some Cockney.

The £1000 bonus winner is Audrey, who is a flirty, sexy East European girl who looks better before she takes he glasses off, but who gives a cute, teasing solo performance. It’s unusual (in my experience of it) for a Viewers’ Wives to end on a solo scene, but no arguments here.

So, this 60th edition is perhaps not the best, but certainly a good representation of the series, with enough solid clips to make it worthwhile for any fan of amateur hardcore. And as my tastes are not necessarily those of the core audience (a quick look at Britain’s softcore phone chat channels shows there must be quite an audience for chubby, middle aged women), some of you might well enjoy some scenes much more than I did. And hell, if you think you can do better, I’ll expect to see you in volume 61…


Related reviews: Your Choice Viewers' Wives 59Your Choice Viewers' Wives 61



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