CHOICE VIEWERS' WIVES VOLUME 60
DVD. Your Choice
grief – Volume 60 of this venerable series?
Having started watching these when the series was still in single
figures, it’s a depressing reminder of my mortality. But
it also shows that there is still a market for amateur porn on
DVD, even in a world of free internet clips. Why, I don’t
know, but perhaps the success of this series is because it does
offer a wide variety of genuinely amateur footage – and
even on Tube sites, much of the supposed home made footage is
clearly the work of semi-pros at least.
Of course, the amateur nature and the variety of performers and
photographers ensures that these collections are mixed bags, to
say the least. Certainly, Your Choice don’t operate a policy
based on age, body size or attractiveness, which is admirable,
is sometimes challenging for the viewer, and this edition is a
good example of the series mix of the good, the bad and the ugly
As is tradition, this edition opens up with a solos scene. Lee
is a woman of a certain age who strips out of red underwear and
plays with herself using a purple vibe. It’s efficiently
shot, but personally I can’t say she did much for me.
Tracey takes a stroll in the country, loses her clothes and plays
with her surprisingly hairy pussy. It’s perhaps less explicit
than the usual YCVW clip (though it does have
a couple of brief pissing scenes), and the natural setting and
natural bush give it quite an old-fashioned feel. That’s
not necessarily a bad thing. An indoor scene where she masturbates
with a beer bottle is probably labouring the point somewhat –
although the brief intrusion by a pet cat is an amusing blunder.
It’s girl-girl action next with Emma and Claire, which has
one woman dressed in a dodgy maid’s outfit and the other
in worryingly authentic school uniform, as they amuse each other
with assorted improvised dildos (a beer bottle again!) and a stick
of celery. It’s a bit choppy and the focus keeps going,
but both ladies seem enthusiastic.
and the more mature Kim are, shall we say, larger ladies, and
if you are a big tit man, they might be your ideal women. They
didn’t do much for me, but then I don’t really get
turned on by veins. Attempting to give their scene some element
of plot, their encounter ends with and interruption, and then
leads to another scene with Beth and Darren – the first
boy-girl scene of the collection. Darren is a chubby as his partner,
but otherwise less impressively endowed, and the pair engage in
an enthusiastic, if unremarkable sex scene that is regularly illuminated
by camera flashes.
Kelly and Declan are next. Kelly is a fairly cute, has a great
body and is undoubtedly enthusiastic, while Declan seems pretty
bland but eager. They are probably chav kids, but there’s
not question that the deliver the goods (twice!) is a scene that
is probably the most effective slice of porn in the collection.
Megan is another big girl, though a remarkably cute one, and appears
being interviewed by a Ben Dover wannabe before getting to work
on him. As he’s a pot-bellied, badly tattooed (even on his
cock) and slovenly dressed character – we never see his
face – who’s idea of class is to remove a condom and
have the girl pour the contents over her face, I hope he paid
Jenny and Woody appear in a stilted, staged scene and are probably
the most unattractive couple on the collection. Watching them
is quite off-putting, in fact, so I quickly skipped ahead to Daisy,
a pretty blonde who is talked through her scene by two guys and
is doing this without the knowledge of her husband. As they all
seem to be American, I guess there’s little chance of him
picking up the DVD. It’s an effective, if sometimes awkward
appears in a vaguely story-led piece, playing the window cleaner
who flashes her fake tits at some bald oaf with a moronic accent.
Chantelle certainly looks like a (British) porn star, has some
dodgy tats, wears awful jewellery and performs with rampant enthusiasm
when not giggling annoyingly. It feels like the sort of porn you’d
expect Big Brother contestants (or fans) to make.
It’s shot reasonably well and has a distinct ‘pro’
feeling to it.
It’s back to old age porn next, with Tony, Irena and Mark.
The intro from the cameraman suggests that we’ve seen Tony
and Irena before, though whether they are back by popular demand
or not is open to question. It feels like an authentic representation
of British swingers – unattractive people having unattractive
and noisy sex, egged on by some Cockney.
The £1000 bonus winner is Audrey, who is a flirty, sexy
East European girl who looks better before she takes he glasses
off, but who gives a cute, teasing solo performance. It’s
unusual (in my experience of it) for a Viewers’
Wives to end on a solo scene, but no arguments here.
So, this 60th edition is perhaps not the best, but certainly a
good representation of the series, with enough solid clips to
make it worthwhile for any fan of amateur hardcore. And as my
tastes are not necessarily those of the core audience (a quick
look at Britain’s softcore phone chat channels shows there
must be quite an audience for chubby, middle aged women), some
of you might well enjoy some scenes much more than I did. And
hell, if you think you can do better, I’ll expect to see
you in volume 61…
reviews: Your Choice Viewers' Wives 59
• Your Choice Viewers' Wives 61