SPIDER-MAN XXX - A PORN PARODY
DVD region 0. Vivid.

If you are getting tired waiting for The Amazing Spider-man – or perhaps concerned by the way the teaser trailer and stills are increasingly making it look as though it’s catering a little too much to the Twilight crowd – this Axel Braun’s latest porn spoof might keep you amused. After all, the DVD cover is much more evocative and impressive than the first three official Spider-man movie posters, and Braun’s Batman parody was a spot-on recreation of the Sixties TV show, so what could go wrong?

Unlike his other parodies, this film sees Braun returning to the actual comic books rather than a film or TV show. Skipping straight past the origin (that’s covered in the eight page comic book included with the DVD), the film pits Spidey against Electro (Dick Delaware), who has been hired by Kingpin (Peter O’Tool) to rob a S.H.I.E.L.D. warehouse. Along the way, our hero meets (and has sex with) Black Widow (Brooklyn Lee), meets (and has sex with) Mary Jane (Capri Anderson) and – as Peter Parker – is regularly fired by J. Jonah Jameson (Rob Black).

There’s no faulting the effort made to recreate the original characters in this film – Spider-man, Kingpin, Gwen Stacy (Ash Hollywood), Betty Brant (Sarah Shevon) and the rest of the cast certainly look the part (though Electro is sadly missing the lightning bolt mask of old). Performances are, of course, variable – Xander Corvus doesn’t quite work for me as Spider-man / Peter Parker, but Brooklyn Lee is an impressively sexy Black Widow, Ash Hollywood is a perfect Gwen Stacy, O'Tool is a perfect Kingpin and Rob Black is inspired casting - as he chomps on his cigar and rants, he’s a spot-on JJJ. Special effects are solid enough on the whole, and the Spider-man costume can’t be faulted.

Unfortunately, the film comes somewhat undone thanks to its own ambitions. There are too many characters introduced that go nowhere other than a lengthy sex scene, which is fine in a standard porn flick – but by its very nature, this is a film with crossover audience potential, and it might well have benefited from shorter sex scenes (seriously – does any sex scene really need to be half an hour long? Are audiences really demanding that?) and more characterisation. There is the option to watch a non-sex edit on the DVD, and it runs a mere 21 minutes. I’d say the film probably needs twice that much story.

Of course, the sex scenes are as explicit as you’d expect, and certainly deliver the goods. Braun references the first film’s upside down kiss with a rather more impressively athletic blow job scene, where Corvus hangs upside down for the duration – an impressive act of stamina. And more or less everyone else gets together in assorted couplings, so there's no criticism on that level.

The film ends by setting up a sequel – hopefully one that can balance the plot / sex mix a little more effectively. If that happens, there’s potential for excellence. This film though, while undoubtedly fun and heartily recommended for anyone who likes comic books and porn (I imagine that's most of you), doesn’t quite get there. Though it’s probably still more entertaining than Spider-man 3.

There’s no faulting the DVD though – alongside the afore-mentioned rather excellent comic book by Matt *Core and the excellent packaging, , there’s a decent behind the scenes featurette, the no-sex version, still gallery and trailers for other parody films – alongside extensive Vivid promos.

DAVID FLINT

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