Screen Magic Films.
Lord. Here’s an indie crime movie that seems a must for
any Bad Movie night, offering a mix of ludicrous characters, terrible
acting and hilarious fight scenes. But all this adds up to make
a fairly entertaining effort from director Gary Sturgis.
Miguel A Nunez Jr is Nate ‘Hitman’ Collins, who’s
name ought to ring alarm bells with the authorities, especially
as he seems to be very easy to hire (at one point some random
guy hires him to kill his cheating wife in one of the many superfluous
sub-plots). Collins in fact sub-contracts most of his work to
a trio of ex-prostitutes – Dixie (Noelle Perris), Angel
(Avnit Gordon) and man-hating Jazzy (Tamara Mitchell), making
this a bit like Charlie’s Angels, if Charlie
was a hired killer and the Angels were murderous skanks.
After winning $3 million (!) in a poker game with Mexican Mafia
boss Carlos (Emilio Roso playing one of many racial stereotypes
in the film), Collins sends his girls to get the money, only for
them to be captured by Carlos and convinced that it is, in fact,
he who is owed the money. In the world of hired killers, it seems
that while cold-blooded murder is fine, welching on a bet is frowned
on and lying is the worst thing you could do, and so the girls
head out to deal with their former boss.
are plenty of chuckles to be had here – I defy anyone not
to laugh out loud at the spectacularly inept kung fu fight that
takes place at one point, as well as the forced dialogue that
spells out what is happening for the benefit of more simple-minded
viewers and the cast stumbling over their lines. You might also
be gob-smacked by the random sub-plots that go nowhere, the piss-poor
sound recording and - your first clue that this will be ridiculous
– the opening shooting, where the audible shots are neither
synced with nor the same number as muzzle flashes.
But all this makes what would’ve otherwise been a pretty
dismal effort surprisingly entertaining. Moments of head-scratching
lunacy combine with Birdemic-level shoddiness
to make this a lot more fun than it ought to be. The fact that
everyone apart from Nunez seems to be taking it very
seriously just makes it seem all the better.
While I can’t, in all honesty, recommend this, I will say
that should it come your way, you’ll probably get quick
a kick out of it. Whether that is the sort of kick that the filmmakers
intended is another question entirely, but there’s plenty
of fun to be had from Double Crossed if you approach
it in the right frame of mind.
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