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DOLLA MORTE
DVD Region 0. Wild Eye Releasing.

Dolla MorteThere's the germ of a decent idea in Dolla Morte, which is explained at the end of the film, when we are treated to a synopsis of what has just taken place - presumably because even director Bill Zebub realised that what had preceded it was incoherent rubbish. A story about Jesus being the first Vampire and George W. Bush looking to find the Holy Grail and drink his blood to become immortal (under orders from Hitler) - yeah, that has potential to be pretty wild, especially when you throw in Vlad The Impaler / Dracula, Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein and the Pope.

Unfortunately, any potential is lost in a mix of really, really shoddy production values and the sort of clumsy shock-value humour you might expect to come out of a fourteen year old metalhead trying to upset his parents. The only good thing here is the cover art (and possibly some of the soundtrack).

Dolla Morte is filmed entirely with... erm... dolls, as assorted Barbies and other action figures are thrown around in front of the camera while lousy - and lengthy - dialogue is spouted. There's no animation here - it's too basic for that. Instead, often visible hands guide the action figures through their bad taste motions. While doll movies can be amusing in small doses (I still have a soft spot for 1980's Italian short Pornozilla), this starts to feel very long, even though it clocks in at a mere 70 minutes.

And Dolla Morte certainly tries to shock - there's Christ having sex with himself, the Pope anally raped, female dolls mutilated and tortured, alongside plenty of racism and desperately offensive dialogue. But Zebub blows any sense of taboo-busting with a very long and apologetic introduction in which he explains that none of this should be taken seriously and that no offence is meant, not even to the President (Bush at the time). C'mon Bill, have the courage of your convictions!

As I said, there is potential here to make an interesting (and no less tasteless) film - but this is not it.

LES DE MONZE

BUY IT NOW (USA)

 

 

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