0. Wild Eye Releasing.
the germ of a decent idea in Dolla Morte, which
is explained at the end of the film, when we are treated to
a synopsis of what has just taken place - presumably because
even director Bill Zebub realised that what had preceded it
was incoherent rubbish. A story about Jesus being the first
Vampire and George W. Bush looking to find the Holy Grail and
drink his blood to become immortal (under orders from Hitler)
- yeah, that has potential to be pretty wild, especially when
you throw in Vlad The Impaler / Dracula, Osama bin Laden, Saddam
Hussein and the Pope.
any potential is lost in a mix of really, really shoddy
production values and the sort of clumsy shock-value humour
you might expect to come out of a fourteen year old metalhead
trying to upset his parents. The only good thing here is the
cover art (and possibly some of the soundtrack).
Morte is filmed entirely with... erm... dolls, as assorted
Barbies and other action figures are thrown around in front
of the camera while lousy - and lengthy - dialogue is spouted.
There's no animation here - it's too basic for that. Instead,
often visible hands guide the action figures through their bad
taste motions. While doll movies can be amusing in small doses
(I still have a soft spot for 1980's Italian short Pornozilla),
this starts to feel very long, even though it clocks
in at a mere 70 minutes.
Dolla Morte certainly tries to shock
- there's Christ having sex with himself, the Pope anally raped,
female dolls mutilated and tortured, alongside plenty of racism
and desperately offensive dialogue. But Zebub blows any sense
of taboo-busting with a very long and apologetic introduction
in which he explains that none of this should be taken seriously
and that no offence is meant, not even to the President (Bush
at the time). C'mon Bill, have the courage of your convictions!
I said, there is potential here to make an interesting (and
no less tasteless) film - but this is not it.
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