OF A SEX MANIAC / LOVE VARIATIONS
DVD region 0. Odeon.
latest release in Odeon's Best of British series certainly
stretches the truth of that title somewhat, although this double
bill is certain to appeal to the specialist demographic who have
always longed to see Only Fools and Horses' Trigger
stark bollock naked and shagging various dolly birds. Yes, Roger
Lloyd pack's disreputable past is dredged up in 1974's Confessions
of a Sex Maniac.
to be confused with any other softcore British Confessions
films, this is the story of architect Henry, who has to design
a prestigious new leisure centre in Australia. Distracted after
breaking up with his girlfriend, he struggles for inspiration
until a dream influenced by architecture books and girly magazines
inspires him to make it in the shape of a female breast - well,
I've seen worse designs! But not just any breast - this needs
to be the 'perfect breast', and when a day wandering around Soho
(full of long-gone sex cinemas showing films like Sex
of Their Bodies) fails to inspire, he has no choice but
to audition numerous models, as well as visit frustrated housewives.
But is the answer right under his nose in the form of secretary
Vicki Hodge? Frankly, I'd say no, but I'm no architect.
debut feature of Killer's Moon auteur Alan Birkinshaw,
Confessions of a Sex Maniac is pretty shoddy
stuff. Lloyd Pack and Hodge are possibly the most wooden couple
ever to appear in a British sex film - quite an achievement
- and while there are a few amusing lines of dialogue, the film
tends to grind along in a thoroughly humourless way, with a musical
score that seems more suited to a thriller than an alleged sex
comedy. The cast also includes Derek Royle, who you might recognise
as a corpse in Fawlty Towers, and a fair selection
of Seventies British crumpet - Ava Cadell, Monika Ringwald, Bobbie
Sparrow, Cherri Gilham and other familiar faces (and boobs).
have sensibly sweetened this pill with a full supporting feature
in the form of David Grant's pioneering sex education film Love
Variations. Shot in 1969, Grant goes out of his way here
to placate the censors, with extensive footage of 'a family doctor'
talking the viewer through assorted diagrams (at one point, he
spends about five minutes teaching a maths lesson on how to calculate
fertility before telling you that it's an unreliable form of birth
control anyway) intercut with a couple - 'Steven' and 'Carol'
- demonstrating assorted positions, naked, entwined but barely
moving, against a sterile white background. Although this was
aimed at the sexploitation market, it's hard to imagine anything
less erotic and more worthy - a few dated attitudes aside, you
could probably show this in school sex education lessons. Nevertheless,
the British censor still banned the film.
of you used to modern sex education films like The Lover's
Guide will find this tame stuff - the closest to an erection
you'll see is in a cut-away anatomical diagram, and although assorted
positions are shown, foreplay and masturbation are quickly glossed
over by the doctor and oral sex doesn't rate a mention. Still,
the awkward members of the public consulted at the end seemed
not exactly works of genius here, but for fans of the genre, this
is still an essential purchase. The prints are a bit grainy, which
actually helps somehow, and the DVD is rounded off with trailers
for Odeon's other Brit Smut films, all of which you should buy.
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